Blast from the Past

This past weekend, my mom babysat the kids for 2 1/2 hours (thanks Mom!) and Ken and I were able to go out on a date. Our date of choice is a coffee shop and Barnes and Nobles (always has been.) Before we were married, and after we were married before kids, we spent so much time at Barnes and Nobles and Borders. We read magazines, drank coffee, had great conversation. I cherish those memories. We've continued our weekend tradition of hanging out at bookstores after the kids came along, but it's not the same. We bring books, toys, coloring books, the laptop with dvds or netflix, food and drinks, basically anything that will keep them entertained and quiet for a little while. We're regular fixtures and everyone knows us (not sure if they LIKE us.... that's another story ;) With 3 demanding kids, we don't really get to READ much. We sometimes try to get through the paper or some magazines, but it's between taking little people to the bathroom, handing out snacks and drinks, getting out toys, answering questions, telling a certain middle child to keep his voice down, etc. This weekend, Ken and I got to get out of the car without also getting out three kids, a stroller, a laptop, and the rest of their paraphernalia. We just got out of the car, linked arms, and walked in. Amazing :) We got drinks and books and magazines, there was adult conversation without interruptions, and a great time was had by all. It reminded me of when we were dating.

Before I had kids, I was always wishing we had kids. Having kids is even more wonderful than I imagined, but it's different. Our lives are not our own. We don't get to read, watch what we want on tv, go to the bathroom, sleep etc whenever we please. I wish I would have known then what I know now. I wouldn't have worried so much. I would have enjoyed our time with just the two of us more. God had a wonderful plan all along! I did realize that toward the end of our IF journey, and my life was much better after that realization, or gift of grace, whatever it was. I guess IF taught me that God has a better plan than I could ever imagine. But sometimes He says, "You need to wait."

I've learned that I can't worry about tomorrow. I can't worry how Leo will do with his surgery, when he'll learn to eat and talk normally, etc. I can't worry if I get pregnant again, whether that baby will have a cleft palate, whether my next child will be able to nurse, or anything else. Whatever happens, God will take care of us. We can get through it.

Right now we have 3 young kids. It's just a season. It goes fast and I don't wish any of it away. The first 4 years of our marriage are kind of a blur, except this weekend when I was remembering some great times we had. Now I never wish any time away that I have with my husband and kids. Each day is so precious. I had to wait a long time for them, and they were worth every second of it. I wish I had enjoyed the wait more. But now I do enjoy the present moment, and I'm so grateful for that.