I earn every penny

Could also be titled: Why I"m drinking an iced venti soy chai from Starbucks right now.

You know the scene in Caddyshack, where the lifeguard finds the Baby Ruth in the pool? Well, today, it wasn't a Baby Ruth.

I decided that I'd be brave today and take all three girls for ice cream (well, sorbet for Grace and I), then to mom's pool. The ice cream went well. That was the last thing that went well today.

We got to the pool, Grace was ready to go in. I got Ava all dressed in her swim diaper and bathing suit with the floaties in it. She's a little tentative in the water, but when I got in with her she seemed to be having a good time. Then she happened to get her mouth under the water just a little. After that, she was terrified. She held on to my neck and wouldn't let go. She wouldn't even sit on the steps. But she didn't want to get out - she just wanted me to hold her in the pool. But she just kept crying. Finally I bribed her with a piece of cheese to get out. She was totally done with the pool so I took off her bathing suit and dressed her in a regular diaper and clothes again (all while I was holding Madeleine - I"m getting good at multitasking!) Anyway, we were having a good time watching Grace when my mom decided to get in the pool. Ava LOVES my mom. She thinks she's her second Grandma. Ava starts begging to get back in. So my mom's friend says, "Why don't you just strip her down and let her go in her diaper." So I did. She was having a great time, but when she got out, her diaper was sagging down to her knees. So I just took it off. She wanted to go back in with my mom. I was holding Madeleine under the umbrella, enjoying watching Mom holding the little naked girl. She was playing on the steps and kept running over to me and talking. When this girl talks, she talks in paragraphs but no one can understand a word she says. She kept running over, talking, then running back to the pool. All of a sudden, she jumped out of the pool. Mom noticed the "Baby Ruth" sitting on the step. Then I looked down at Ava and noticed that she wasn't done. She was squatting and pooping right there on the patio. My mom's dog Skipper, who, as Uncle Louis in the movie Christmas Vacation would say, "couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerine plant," somehow sensed what was going on and came running - as much as a 15 year old Westie can. Ava finished up, stepped in it, and started running. I jumped up, holding Madeleine in one arm, grabbed Ava with the other, and tried with my foot to stop Skipper from "investigating." I handed Madeleine off, grabbed Ava up with a towel, took her inside and cleaned her up and got her dressed. Then mom had to fish out the poop, shock the pool, and I had to pick up the big pile off the patio. Then I got some extra strength cleaner and scrubbed the "poop deck." I have to say, she did try to warn me! Maybe it's time for some potty training.

Is it just me, or does it seem like every other post on this blog is about poop?!

Maybe I should rename it "Up To My Elbows."