Suzanne has a good discussion about modesty going in her comments on this post.
Ken and I have already discussed this issue, and how important it is to our family. My kid will dress modestly, no matter what "everybody else" is doing. She'll also grow up knowing why it's important to be modest.
This reminds me of a story a good friend of mine told. One day in high school she brought home a shirt that wasn't exactly modest. The next day it was gone. When she questioned her mom about it, she matter-of-factly said, "I threw it away." She never brought home an immodest shirt again. This woman has 6 kids, all practicing Catholics, two are priests. I hope to be as good of a mother as her one day!
So those of you who have dealt with this issue, do you have any suggestions for me about how to raise a daughter who understands the virtue of modesty? Or any stories from your own families would be good too!
7 comments:
My only tip is this: Don't just set up arbitrary standards of modesty and "lay down the law" in your home. Rather, use clothes shopping trips as "teachable moments" with your daughter(s), so they know what is modest and what isn't, and more importantly, WHY. My own dd has picked up on the modesty standards we would like to impart from my (not so) random comments when we are out in clothing stores, so she has internalized them and hopefully will make them her own. "Look at how low cut this top is...I don't think that we'll buy this one" kind of thing. Just my two cents, for what it's worth.
I second the above comment. You will set the tone for how your girl(s) will view themselves and what modesty means. O.H. and I discuss this often. The most important thing is starting to instill it right away. For example, we are not comfortable with the idea of our girls wearing bikinis when they are older, so we don't let them wear them now. I do wear a two-piece, but it is tankini top and skirted bottom, so it doesn't look like a two-piece at all. Look for girls that are older that model the idea of modesty you have in mind and say kind things about them. Start early and be consistent is our approach (of course, our oldest is only 5 1/2 so who knows if it is working).
the pregnant comment was SO not funny! you're going to jinx me. i want more little ones, just not one on top of each other. che would have to bring the kids to visit me in the insane asylum. i wonder whether I'm cut out to have kids at all! but the thought did cross my mind as I hurled into the sink
My mom was famous for throwing out clothing.
Bikinis, stupid shirts... they all went in the garbage.
I can't know the answers yet, as my daughters are still so young. But in general, I try to stay away from "trendy" clothes for them, which can often be on the tight side.
I do think modesty is very relative. It changes in different cultures, for one thing. And it is not (to me) immodest to wear a swimsuit at the beach, but it would be considered immodest to wear the same swimsuit, even if it covers well, to a restaurant for dinner.
An odd thing about me - I let my babies wear two-piece swimsuits, when they have those rolls of fat on them, but when those rolls disappear I switch to one-pieces only. To me a pudgy infant in a two piece is not immodest - they are just sooo cute! But when their bodies tone up a bit, the same two piece looks entirely different!
Does that make sense??
Let me say also, that I realize to say that "modesty is relative" can be walking a fine line, but there is certainly truth to it. In general it seems as long as modesty is a careful and prayerful consideration on the part of us mothers and fathers, we will not offend our Lord.
Kristen,
What you said.
:)
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