I've been "hazed" into my new role as a mother. I've taken care of lots of kids in my life, and I've been peed on, pooped on, and spit up on. But this was by far the worst incident (so far!)
Nick, I really wouldn't read this if I were you!
The other day, mom and I had to go take Grandma to the gynocologist. Poor mom has to take her every three months for reasons I won't go into here. (Although her doctor says that what she has is caused by smoking and lack of exercise, so there's another reason not to smoke and to exercise!)
Anyway, Mom's getting major time off of purgatory for these trips. Grandma takes forever, hates going, and is really rude to the doctor. So Mom thought that if I went with her, Madeleine and I could stay in the car and then Grandma would hurry up and come out. So Mom goes in, and I decide to change Madeleine's diaper on my lap, which I've done several times before. I took off her diaper, lifted up her legs to wipe her little butt, and she sprayed poop all over my shirt, neck and face! I just sat there in shock for a minute - I obviously didn't have another shirt, there was no way I could wear that one and we were an hour away from home! Also, I only had 2 wipes left. Well, I used the wipes to clean myself (and her) as much as possible, and then I just had to take my shirt off. Luckily I had a jacket that I just had to wear buttoned up until we got home. So of course, she pooped again as soon as she had a clean diaper on (the kid will only poop in clean diapers.) I had to salvage one of the wipes I had already used to clean her up again. So other than being shirtless when Mom and Grandma came out, everything was relatively calm. So we went to the doctor, took Grandma home, and then Mom took us to Starbucks.
The trashcan outside the door is where the poop shirt was buried.
8 comments:
That is gross. But funny. Because it happened to you, not me. :) These are the things no one tells you about--you have to discover them on your own.
Poor Beth.
The same thing happened to me, only she was about a week old, and thankfully, it happened at home.
I didn't know what to do - I just burst out laughing.
(It IS kind of funny - it's like a firehose!)
Glad you got to go to get coffee, and I think it's hilarious there's a poop shirt outside Starbucks.
I think I would have told her to take you home and skip starbucks! Was Madeleine upset about it or was she clueless that she had just messed on you?
Ah yes, the "poop" stories!
As you said, you've been officially "initiated" now into the sisterhood! It's a gruesome initiation, to be sure, but we want to make sure we don't just let anyone in! lol
I hope it wasn't one of your favorite shirts...
Yikes! I didn't know poop could spray!!!
I agree with 4andcounting - it's funny because it didn't happen to me!
You took it so well though, a sign of a good mama!
Oh my...!!!! I would have DIED! I agree with ma, it's hysterical that a poop shirt ended up by Starbucks!!
Ok. Not nearly as funny but when my oldest was a newborn, we spent Christmas with my family. Christmas Day I was on the phone with the sis who was in Germany when I hear my husband say "Oh s***" and I am thinking "Oh no now what?" Then I hear him run to the bathroom and start a tub. Later I see DS in new clothes. Hubby said DS took such a dump it went up his shirt and down his legs. He had to bathe him twice - I think - to get everything off. :)
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