We're doing it. We didn't plan on doing it -in fact I thought I'd never do it. But the first two nights in the hospital, she would not sleep in the little clear bassinet, so I just held her on my chest all night. Then, we got home and she would not sleep in the cradle next to my bed. So she's been sleeping with us every night for two weeks!
I do like sleeping with her, because when she is next to me, she sleeps for 3 - 3 1/2 hours at a time between feedings. She wakes up, I can tell she's hungry before she cries, then she eats and goes right back to sleep. Most of the time I don't think Ken even hears us. I don't know how she does it, but she gets on her side and cuddles right up to me, no matter where I put her in the bed. Who knew that newborn babies could move?!
Ken sleeps under the covers, and I have been sleeping on top of the covers with a blanket for me. I just put her in a onesie and a sleep sack. I feel like she is safe this way, especially because I'm aware of whenever she makes a noise or moves. And I feel like I get a lot more sleep too.So, every night we've been getting her to sleep downstairs and then trying to put her in her cradle. Last night my friend Ashley suggested that I sleep with her blanket and then put it in the cradle so it smells like me. We might try that tonight. But honestly, other than the slight fear of suffocation, I'm not in too much of a hurry to get her out of our bed. Most of my friends tell me to do whatever works for us, but some also tell me that the kid needs to learn how to sleep in her own bed. And some people tell me that we'll never get her out of our bed if we start out like this. I tend to think - she's two weeks old and we can't spoil her yet! She was never alone for the last 9 months, and she's not used to it! Also I hate hearing her cry. I've let her cry for a few minutes in her cradle, but it just escalates and I pick her up and she immediately settles down. I have been having her sleep in her bouncy seat for naps during the day - and she does pretty well.
Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Advice? Can we keep her safe in our bed? If we sleep with her now will we ever get her out of our bed? If your advice is to put her in the cradle, how do we do that?
Thanks in advance, all you experienced moms out there!
8 comments:
I let Monster sleep with me when he was a tiny one. It definitely made nursing at night easier. I tried nursing and putting him in his bassinette, but I usually ended up keeping him with me. I think it is fine, although you might want to get a cosleeper bed that has sides on it, just to reduce the chances of rolling on her.
We did have a hard time getting Monster to sleep through the night b/c of cosleeping. He didn't start sleeping through the night until he was 8 months old. We finally had to make him cry it out, one feeding at a time. What I mean is, I would sleep in the living room and O.H. would sleep in a kid room and baby slept in our room in his pack n' play. Monster was still waking up about 3 times a night. So, the first few days he cried out the first wakeup and I would nurse him the other 2 times. When he was finally sleeping through one feeding, we would make him cry out the second feeding. It was hard, but so worth it. We moms can function on limited sleep for a time, but at 8 months old with 3 other kids to care for I needed to get a solid night's sleep.
Do what is right for you, right now. You will figure it out as you go along. The fact that she can sleep by herself in her bouncy is a good sign.
All 6 of my kids have slept with me for the first few months of their lives -- they slept better, and so did I!! (I never planned on doing it either... but I *had* to get some sleep or I was going to go insane)
I called it quits whenever they started getting rather mobile... say, 3-4 months or so. They were usually used to sleeping in the crib by then (for naptimes), so at night I would just nurse them to sleep and plop 'em in the crib.
Some kids were a bit fussier than others, but all of them made the adjustment just fine (and I am neither an "attachment parent" or a "let-em cry it out" sort. I follow my gut and do what works).
By 8 months or so, almost all of them were sleeping just fine through the night.
Hope this helps!
Cosleeping is completely safe (if the right precautions are taken), and the very best thing for you and baby. You get more sleep, baby gets more sleep, your nursing relationship will thrive, and good attachment is promoted. We've slept with all three of our kids, and the benefits are enormous. Dr. Sears has plenty of info on his site askdrsears.com, and his books.
Baby will leave your bed when she is ready. We've always transitioned a toddler over to another bed with daddy, but this is a gradual thing, as it should be. Our kids have none of the childhood sleep problems that are so common; they are secure and confident about sleep.
You're right that babies are meant to sleep with parents...they spend nine months skin-to-skin with you, so it makes no sense to have them suddenly sleep in a wooden box once they are born. Follow her cues, and you can't go wrong. Remember, at this early age a baby's needs are the same as her wants. After a year or so, her needs will not necessarily be the same as her wants. She needs to nurse at night right now. My 1 year old Liam just "wants" to nurse at night, which means I can start cutting him off pretty soon. :)
The phenomenon you described of waking up just before she does to feed her is quite common with cosleeping families. It's amazing, isn't it? You are in the same sleep cycle together, and your body will anticipate her waking to feed just before she does. Wonderful, and reduces her risk of SIDS quite a bit.
Also wanted to mention, (hey, you asked for advice on my blog, remember? :) that since you have endometriosis, delaying cycles/ovulation for as long as possible is in your best interest healthwise. A good friend of mind had endo. and trouble conceiving, so I'm educated on it. Once she did finally conceive, she did ecological breastfeeding to delay cycles for as long as possible, since periods were so painful for her. So the longer you night nurse, delay solids, don't give bottles or pacifiers, and do the other principles of ecological breastfeeding, the better for your endometriosis and subsequent fertility. For more info go to ccli.org and do a search. It does work, IF YOU FOLLOW THE RULES! :)
Good grief, that was a long comment. Ugh. Sorry...can't help myself! :) Best wishes to you.
I'm glad you made this post. I've wondered about cosleeping (for when my time comes). It was helpful to read the comments above.
You're right, you cannot spoil a newborn. In fact, I don't think you can spoil a baby under a year old!
I was not able to co-sleep with my girls for various reasons, but I wish I could have. Trust your instincts!
Hi there, I'm Michelle Halpin's sister and we have a 9 week old. I experienced the exact same things you are going through right now and it is easy to be flooded with too much help and too muchinformation. I wanted to totally quit it all and just go the "easy" way with bottles and cribs. But we are cosleeping and it's gotten me more sleep than I thought I would. Maggie wakes up only once or twice to nurse now that she's a little older and is so all over the bed I know I could never smother her! She moves too much and is too alert! She nursed CONSTANTLY for the first few weeks that I thought something must be WRONG with her! But I had to learn that she was doing it for comfort as well as nutrition. Good luck. She's a beauty.
Hey! I have coslept with all four of mine until they were about 9-10 months old. We have never had a problem getting them into their own beds - we just set a bedtime routine and did it.
Cosleeping is safe, as long as you are sure to keep heavy blankets away from the face, make sure there is not a gap between a headboard and mattress, and don't ever do it if you are on a medication that might make you drowsy. Otherwise, it's fine.
I co-slept with all my breastfed babies. Dr. Sears has a lot of information about how your breathing stimulates the baby to breath and that always put me at ease about the baby smothering. I think whatever helps you to get rest and baby to get nourished is always a good thing!
Kathryn
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