Working on Photography

For the past few years, I have only taken pictures of my kids with my iphone.  I have some decent ones and I probably took thousands of pictures, but no really good ones.  I had a really old Canon power shot that took really bad pics - worse than my phone - so I just didn't use it.  My aunt and uncle gave me a new Nikon point and shoot and I've been having lots of fun with it!  And also I saved up for several months and finally ordered a Nikon d3200.  I'm hoping to get it this week or next and I can't wait to practice!  Luckily I have a very cute, non moving baby to practice on ;)

Here's my favorite picture from our photo shoot today....  

Any tips from my photographer friends out there?  

11 weeks today

Last night I put Sarah in her cradle around 9, she had been asleep since 8. I went to bed around 10:30 and woke up at 5:30 and she was still asleep in her cradle! And she slept til 7:30!

Destination Jesus 2013

So I did my usual volunteer security shift at DJ yesterday.  Love it love it love it!  Here's a picture of what the gym looks like transformed into a chapel.  It's beautiful, the kids are reverent, the music is great, the whole weekend is so much fun.

Sarah and I arrived at 7am in 10 degree weather.  She slept most of the time the kids were arriving, which was good because the doors kept opening and letting in the arctic air.  Two really great things happened this weekend, one of them sad but beautiful.

The first thing was on Saturday.... I took the kids to hear Ken play in the band.  (They loved it!)  In between the two sets of music they said the Divine Mercy chaplet.  The day before, Friday, my bff since junior high called me and said her mother was very close to dying.  The doctor had given her about 3 weeks at that point.  She was ready for her not to suffer anymore, but also very sad of course.  My mom said to tell her to pray the divine mercy chaplet, as she and her siblings had done for my grandma last Christmas as she was dying.  She did.  Then all 850 kids (including some of her grandchildren) prayed it on Saturday.  Immediately after leaving I learned that Gloria had passed away. So beautiful that we were all praying that prayer.  Please pray for their family.  Gloria has such a beautiful soul, mother of 9 children, gave selflessly her entire life.

The next thing happened on Sunday.  I had heard a talk about the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd, which is kind of a montessori way of teaching young kids about Jesus as the good shepherd, the mass, Jesus laying down his life for his sheep, etc.  It's very hands on, and the kids play with a set - Jesus as the good shepherd, sheep, a fence, a "yard," and an altar.  There is a way to teach about it that sounded very beautiful.  The classes are expensive and I couldn't find the book used to save my life.  The book is called The Good Shepherd and the Child.  Anyway, when Sarah woke up from her first nap she decided to scream inconsolably for about 15 minutes.  As I was walking her up and down the hallway trying to calm her down, I ran into an Dominican Sister of St. Cecilia.  I asked her if she knew anything about the Catechesis of the Good shepherd.  She looked surprised and said she had just taken a class on how to teach it!  I told her what I wanted to do (make M one of these sets for her birthday and learn how to teach it as well.)  She was very happy and said she would love to help me!  She asked for my email (and I had to give her the yahoo one I rarely use because I couldn't really give my milkjugs one to a nun!) and she said she would meet with me.  I'm SO excited!  Also I asked Sew if her mom would paint the sheep for me.  She will and I sent them today!  So thrilled.  I have a peg doll of Jesus as the good shepherd, a board that I'll cover with green felt, a fence with a gate, 9 wooden sheep, and a beautiful box to keep it all in when she's not playing with it.  I think it will be a hit!

I got to attend the mass on Sunday, wearing Sarah on my chest, the same mass where I chose to be happy and praise God's name whatever happened in my life.  That was in 2006, right before my second surgery for stage 4 endo, right after my second lupron shot, when I thought there was a chance I would never be a mother.  Now I have my 4th beautiful sleeping baby on my chest.  Thank you God.

Happy valentines day!

All my little Valentines ;)

Yeah.... my kid is a lil weird.

Hancey Boy

Of all my kids, I think I'm the most sad about John Paul growing up.  Right now his life consists of super heroes, cowboy boots, "Wescuing" people, and loving his mama with all his heart.  He tells me he loves me 1000 times a day.  He says, "I love you mommy.  I love you the bestest of all."  I hope I never ever forget that.

More nibbles

I had to go to CVS to pick up Sarah's meds (didn't get them, long annoying story,) and thought I was only going to be gone for 15 minutes so when mom came over to watch the kids, I decided to leave Sarah asleep in her swing too.  Unfortunately I was gone more like 45 minutes and Sarah got hungry.  Here's how the conversation went:

Sarah crying.
Madeleine:  Grandma, why is she crying?
Mom: Well, I think she's hungry.
Madeleine:  Well why don't you feed her?
Mom: Only Mommy can feed her.
Madeleine, looking confused: Grandma, you're grown up, you have nibbles!


Also had Sarah's 2 month appointment today and she was 12 lbs 1 oz.  (Since this is her only baby book!)

2 months!!

Groundhog class

8 weeks

Reflux?

So this is all new to me.  Madeleine had a milk allergy but no one has had anything like this.  Poor Sarah has been congested since 2 weeks old.  She has woken up coughing and choking after every feeding at night.  She has an "arsenic hour" every night (You either want to give it or take it!)  She had a red "sandpaper" rash on her face and neck and head.  So first I gave up dairy.  Her rash completely disappeared - yay!  She seemed happier too.  But still couldn't breathe.  I took her to the doc.  He said he thought reflux but since she is gaining weight and not terribly fussy, it wasn't bad enough to treat.  He said the meds treat the acid and not the mucus production.  I took her to the chiropractor.  She (and my ibclc) said give up gluten.

Sigh.

I've been dreading this for years, thinking someone someday was gonna have a problem with it and I'd have to do it.  I LOVE bread.  I eat bread every day.  I make it from scratch.  LOVE it.  Seems like every food that's easy to eat and readily available has gluten.

So I'm on day 4 of gluten free.  Sarah is much better.  Nose is clear, didn't wake up coughing once last night, not even fussy at all today.  Her feeling better is totally worth it, even though it is going to be hard!

GF people - what do you eat when you go out to eat?  When you go to people's houses?  Parties etc?  What do you buy that is easy to grab and eat at home?

Oh, and on a fabulous side note, I've lost 5 lbs in 4 days ;)

3-6 months!

So she's 12 lbs 3 oz and this is her first 3-6 month outfit :)

I have lots of reasons

To love homeschooling so far.  But today, I was folding laundry after we finished school, and I heard Madeleine teaching John Paul how to pray the rosary.  Then she came and asked me to pray with them!  Who is gonna say no to that??

Sarah's nose is still so congested.  I have been off dairy for 2 1/2 weeks and her skin is completely clear, but she is still struggling with breathing through her nose.  She sounded so bad yesterday that I called the doctor and took her in.  He suspects reflux but since she is gaining weight (she's up to 12 lbs 3 oz!) and not fussy, they don't treat it.  I have tried the humidifier, sitting in a steamy bathroom, saline and suction, elevating her, and even putting water in JP's nebulizer and directing the mist toward her face.  Nothing helps.  I feel so bad for her.  Any other ideas??

Younger kids

I remember sitting in the hospital with newborn Leo, thinking, "poor kid, there's no way he is going to get enough attention."  (I had a 3 1/2 year old and a 19 month old at the time.)  Now, two years later, I know better!  Leo just may be the most loved kid in the history of the world.  Not only does he have two parents who adore him, but he has two big siblings who love him as well!  Madeleine thinks he's the funniest, cutest kid who ever walked the face of the earth.  She and John Paul play with him all the time, teach him everything (good and bad!) and he copies everything they do.  I am not in the least bit worried that Sarah won't get enough attention!  She has THREE big siblings who love her, and I have hardly put her down in all of her 6 weeks!

Funny story from today:

Leo has a little fever so Ken was trying to feed him some soup at the table.

Madeleine:  Daddy, someday can I help feed baby Leo?
Ken:  Sure, and when you get bigger you can also help feed baby Sarah.
Madeleine:  Yes, when my nibbles grow bigger!

(Ken and I about died laughing!)

Naming Sarah

Sarah was probably the hardest and eventually the easiest kid to name so far.  I did not have any girl names I was really attached to, so I was pretty open.  We knew that one of the names would be a saint, but that was pretty much it.  Ken had a name that he was really pushing for, but I absolutely could not see us naming her that.  I won't mention it because it isn't a bad name, and it's pretty common (in the 80s anyway! haha) but I just knew I couldn't do it.  Ken asked me to really try to let it grow on me (as he did with John Paul and Leo) but I just could not do it.  I really tried!  I promise!
I wrote a list of probably 25-30 names that I could live with, and told him he could pick any of those.  Sarah wasn't even on that list.  And nothing was jumping out at him.  So we just decided to "let it marinate" as he said for awhile.  But I really wanted her to have a name!  I suggested Gianna as one of my favorites, even though it's pretty common in Catholic circles, I still really love it.  Ken said it sounded like someone on Jersey Shore, so I figured that was off the table.

So one day I was driving up to Nicole C's farm, and listening to Sarah Bauer's album Lead me Home.  (Buy her CDs - they are great!)

The song Cause to Laugh came on.  The lyrics include....

Numbered in days she felt forgotten
as she waited with Abraham.
When the guests finally arrived
And told her of God's plan.
The promise God foretold to you
To bring forth a son.
Is anything too marvelous
For the Lord our God?
The impossible proclaimed,
by God she was renamed.
God said "you'll have a son."

And Sarah laughed...
What a promise maker is He
She laughed...
Can this truly be?

For the love that's found within my heart and the promise written there
God has given me cause to laugh.

(Sarah, sorry if I got some of those wrong!  Going from memory!)

So driving up there, hearing that song, I realized that I could totally relate to Sarah... she thought maybe she would never be a mother, and then just had to laugh at God's plan.  I had the same feelings once, and then I was getting ready to have my fourth child in less than 6 years. I have to laugh that this was God's plan all along.  I thought Sarah would be the PERFECT name for her.  But since I chose both of the boy's names, I knew Ken had to think of it.  So I said a quick prayer, "God, if you want Sarah to be her name, please let Ken think of it."

So we get up to the farm, and we're in the pig barn, and I get this text:

I was blown. away!  I just knew that was the perfect name for her.... and I even got Gianna when I had given up hope!  Of course I immediately agreed.  Pretty sure it was meant to be :)

If you want to buy the song, go here.  You'll LOVE it!

Dairy free again

I took Sarah to my favorite ibclc last Saturday and she thought, with her congestion and rash, that she has some kind of allergy.  She suggested I eliminate dairy from my diet... I admit I was a little reluctant to do this again, it's a big sacrifice for me.  (Did it for a year with Madeleine.)  I have to cook differently and give up my very favorite iced coffee with real cream and sweetened condensed milk.  But, it's definitely worth it for her to feel better.  She is still a little congested but definitely better.  I started making my iced coffee with coconut creamer and I made my own sweetened condensed coconut milk.  It's a decent substitute.

Also we had the most amazing weather I remember in January this past weekend.  It got into the 60s on Friday and Saturday!  So we went to our neighborhood park both days and everyone had a great time.  John Paul even spotted a crawdad, or as he called it, a "giant lobsta."  Sarah and I enjoyed the fresh air and sunshine while the kids and daddy played.  It was soooo nice and made me wish for spring.

Loved loved loved this weekend!  And look how much better her face looks!

Epiphany mass

On Sunday, our electricity went out right in the middle of the Colts playoff game so we made a quick trip to Grandma and Papa's house to finish watching and eat dinner (Ken was already in the middle of cooking it!)
Turns out, our whole neighborhood lost power, including the church. 357 people in this area were without power for 5 hours. I hadnt gone to mass so Sarah and I went to 5:30 Sunday. I walked in during the opening song (I know!) and an usher saw that I was carrying a carseat and asked if I'd like a seat. I said sure, and she led me up the aisle. It was so dark that I actually had to feel where the pew was before I set Sarah down. I couldn't see the person sitting right next to me or really my hand in front of my face until my eyes adjusted. There were a few candles up by the altar and the priests, altar servers and choir had flashlights to read and sing. Otherwise it was pitch black.

I was talking to the older lady sitting next to me afterwards and she said, "this was extraordinary!" That summed it up exactly for me. It was almost like celebrating mass like the early Christians did. It was so beautiful!

I did snap a quick picture ;)

Daddy's back to work

Luckily it was just a 3 day work week to break me in!  So far we are doing pretty well but next week we are starting school again so who knows how that will go!  I'm shocked and thrilled with how well Leo is doing with his new baby sister.  Every time he passes her he pets her gently and says, "Nice."  He even got hurt today and ran to my lap where I was holding her, and I picked him up and he did the same thing even through his tears.  What a sweet boy.  I haven't gotten to hold and cuddle him and put him to sleep as much as before though, and I miss that.

So although Sarah is nursing great and gaining weight, she has a little issue.  She has had a lot of nasal congestion for 2 weeks now (half her life!) and also has started coughing really hard about two minutes after eating.  It doesn't last long but it's kind of scary when it happens.  It is the worst at night when she is laying flat.  I tried to elevate her head on my shoulder last night after she ate, and we have tried a humidifier in our room and suctioning her nose a few times a night, but it doesn't seem to help.  Does that sound like reflux?  She spits up a little but not too much.  I hate to get her tested and treated if that's not it.

I can't believe she will be a month old in 2 days.  Didn't she just get here??

The birth of Sarah Gianna

This is my first post on my new computer!  It's SOOOO nice to type on a real keyboard instead of my phone.

I thought since Sarah is over 3 weeks old, I had better write down her birth story before I forget it!

My favorite part of labor (besides meeting the baby at the end!) has always been taking a list of prayer intentions to the hospital and praying for friends and family during contractions.  Because I had some big huge prayer intentions, and also because I just wanted to experience it once, I decided to try to do it without an epidural.  I read some books and tried to prepare as much as possible.  Also Jenny had George a few months prior without an epi, and she was my inspiration!  So I went into it thinking I could do it.

On Wednesday afternoon (12/5) I had a few errands to run with the kids.  One of them was the library which is right next to the Starbucks.  I would usually go through the drive through but that day absolutely nothing sounded good.  So that was very unusual.  We got home around 4 and around 5 I started having some contractions.  Also Ken texted me and said that he was going to be late that night.  By 6 the contractions were pretty regular and by 6:30 I was about 75% sure we were going to the hospital that night.  I fed the kids supper and figured that I should eat something too (since I knew they wouldn't let me eat at the hospital) but nothing sounded good.  I texted Ken around 7 and told him to come home, and told my mom that she might want to pack a bag and get ready to come spend the night!  I was excited!  Ken got home and we put the kids to bed, and I put their shoes and treats out for St. Nicholas day.  Even Sarah had a tiny pair of booties in the row.  Contractions were getting stronger and closer together.  I got in the tub for awhile but that was uncomfortable (small tub, giant mama.)  I called my doctor around 9 and she said to go ahead and come in and she would be there in awhile.

Side note -I LOVE my doctor.  She has delivered all of my kids.  She gave me her cell phone and said she'd deliver her no matter what, and even though she wasn't working or on call that night, she came to the hospital and slept there so she'd be there to deliver her.  She is awesome!

So mom came over and we got to the hospital around 9:30.  I got checked in, contractions were around 3-4 minutes apart and I was dilated to 4 cm.  I probably could have stayed home a lot longer than I did but I didn't want to have to call mom to come over in the middle of the night (even though she said she didn't mind!)  We walked around the hallways for awhile, then got to our room and Dr. P broke my water around 11pm, and I was about 5cm.  I got into the bed so they could put a hep lock in my hand - and they blew a vein.  I started feeling really hot and like I was going to pass out.  They put a cold cloth on my head and chest and I felt better in a few minutes.  Another nurse came in and finally got it in my other hand.  It was not pleasant!  Ken said I was as white as a sheet.  I got in the the tub for a few hours, and let Ken take a nap.  The warm water and jets were very relaxing, but I continued to have regular contractions.  I got out and they checked me again around 1am - still 5 cm.  That was kind of frustrating.  My doc wanted to go ahead and start pitocin so I consented to get hooked up to the iv.  I was hoping I could still get into the tub, but the monitors weren't working from that far away, so I couldn't.  I was pretty sad about that.  There was no way I could lay down in the bed - too uncomfortable.  They brought a birth ball in and I tried sitting on that.  That wasn't comfortable either.  Then they brought a rocking chair in and I sat and rocked in that until about 3am.  They kept turning up the pit and I was getting increasingly uncomfortable.  But I still felt like I could do it.  At one point I told Ken to just keep telling me I could do it.  I knew I could get the epi if I wanted, I didn't need him to tell me that, I just needed encouragement that I could do it.  I had been texting a few friends for encouragment and that was very helpful!  I prayed for everyone's intentions.  At one point I was falling asleep in between contractions sitting up in the chair and Ken got a little worried.  But I told him just to let me sleep when I could.  I'm pretty sure the nurse came in and wanted to check me about 3am (but not exactly sure on the time.)  I got into the bed on my side and she said I was at 8cm.  Then the pain got super intense.  I couldn't move off my side and during each contraction I was hanging onto the side of the bed and just trying to get through it.  (the next day I noticed the palms of my hands were bruised!)  It was probably the worst pain I had ever felt, and I might have SAID that I couldn't do this anymore, but really there was no point where I felt like I couldn't do it.  Pretty soon I told the nurse I had to go to the bathroom.  She checked me really quickly and said, "No you don't!" and sent another nurse to get the doctor.  I was insisting that I had to go to the bathroom but she said that if she let me get up, we'd have a baby in the toilet.  So Dr. P came in and I was in so much pain I couldn't even open my eyes.  They told me to push and her head came out, then one more push and her body came out.  They put her right on my chest and it was awesome to finally meet her.  We immediately thought her facial expression looked just like Leo (now I think she looks like Madeleine.)  I delivered the placenta, then Dr. P sewed up my little tear.  I was honestly so uncomfortable.  I felt every shot and every stitch.  My legs were shaking and I felt pretty awful.  But finally they finished and she latched right on and nursed like a pro from the beginning!  (That was one of my big intentions I prayed for at the end.)  I was so happy about that.  I handed Sarah off and they said I had to go to the bathroom - that took awhile!  But I did.  I got back in bed and nursed her again, and was having horrible cramps.  The nurse pressed on my belly and I passed several big clots - and continued to do that throughout my hospital stay.  Not fun.    Sorry for TMI :)

 Right before we left for the hospital.

 Shoes ready for St nicholas day!

 Baby burrito 

 Ken changing her first diaper

Going home.... on Leo's birthday!

It took forever but we finally got up to our room around 6:30am.  (She was born at 3:29am.)  I was very proud of myself for doing it without an epi (especially with pitocin) but I'm honestly not sure I will ever do it again.  I feel like I wasn't able to really enjoy her birth because I was in so much pain and I couldn't even open my eyes at the end.  With an epi it's so much more peaceful and enjoyable.  I am not sure I felt any better than usual afterwards either.  But who knows?  I still feel like I haven't experienced a completely natural birth because of the pitocin.  Dr. P came in the next day and said "You did SO good yesterday."  I told her I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to do that again.  She said, "I've never done it!"  haha

Sarah was a wonderful baby from the very beginning.  Such a great nurser we really didn't even need any help.  She ended up nursing for about 3 hours straight and my milk was in by the next afternoon.  I loved my hospital stay vacation - especially the room service - even though I was up for about 48 hours straight.  :)

So, in conclusion, I'm glad I did it, not sure I'll do it again :)

Baptism preview

This will be my last post...

From my phone! I'm getting a computer tomorrow thanks to my awesome Aunt :)

I haven't had one for about a year and its been rough. I'm so excited! Hopefully my blogging will start to be more interesting now that I don't have to type on my phone!

Until then, ill leave you with a 3 week pic! Sad that time goes so fast after the baby gets here...